Chapter 3 Desperate Measures

 

Victoria strode purposefully towards the house. Each foot step became more of a stamp. Her eyes stared angrily ahead, her breathing became more urgent and uneven.

 

As she entered the house, her instinct was to slam the door, leaving her mother-in-law seated alone in the garden. Instead she simply threw it open, in the hope it would smash or at the very least leave a massive dent in the wall. She didn't care to look but marched further into the house, ignoring the servants who bobbed and curtsied as she passed. She thankfully found the office and shut the door firmly behind her, she was alone.

 

She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, but she was so numbed she did neither. Her entire world was slipping into a dark hole where nothing seemed real. She had survived the death of her mother, her younger brother, Freddy. But this, this was her daughter, her beautiful, attentive, splendid, perfect ………… Hands went up to her hair she began to pull at it, as if that would help. She was so utterly helpless in a she was so   How to make sense of this nightmare?

 

 Her first instinct was to blame the messenger.

‘How could she? How dare she? Who does she think she is,………. a chambermaid! A chambermaid takes my daughter to see a country, parochial,  rag, tag and bobtail doctor.

 

 

 

She needed to confide in someone, but if Victoria was honest, she didn't do confidentiality. It meant confession, opening up, self observation, truth. Her ire went back to the messenger. Just because she's Louis’ mother, doesn't give her the right, oh my Lord, Louis! He has to know, I have to tell him! She rushed to the office desk and pulled out a paper sat down and began to write,

 

Darling Louis,

I need you here by my side, I miss you so terribly, I long to see your face, how can I tell you ………..

 

She looked at the letter, realized it was ridiculous when he was at sea, commanding a ship, screwed up the paper into a ball, threw it on the floor and started again.

 

My darling Louis,

The children and I wish you were here, we miss you so badly, your mother had terrible news for us….

 

Utterly hopeless, were her first thoughts as she looked at the letter, she scrunched it up again, it landed on the floor. Six balls of paper later, this was her final creation.

 

My darling Louis,

I long to see your face, the children and I miss you so much, we count the days and look forward to seeing you

your love ever Victoria.

 

She could not burden him with this, it was fruitless, there was really only one person she could confide in.

 

She called a footman to the office,

 

“I need to send a telegram to her Majesty Queen

 Victoria, tell her to expect my daughter Alice, myself,  and several members of my staff in the next 24 hours. Then ask my ladies in waiting to pack our trunks, we are going to London.”.

 

Her grandmother, her Majesty Queen Victoria, Emperess and ruler of one third of the world, took  the news a great deal worse than Victoria could've anticipated. She grew very pale, and had to sit down as if her knees had buckled. It was lucky that all the servants had been dismissed, because her granddaughter had never seen her like this. Suddenly this strong woman, with a very British ‘stiff upper lip’, looked broken and old. She didn't talk for quite some time and when she did speak finally, Victoria, could hear her whimper.

“Albert, my Albert he would know, he would understand exactly what would be the best ….”

 

Victoria sat quietly until her grandmother regained her composure. She realized that since her mother's death, she had grown to rely on this woman for far too much. She was no longer the robust, unflappable, staunch ally that she had once counted on. She was now a woman, nearing the end of her days, far more fragile and breakable than anyone would care to admit, she had seen so much tragedy in her long and illustrious life, this could not be the straw that might break her back. It was a disability, a rotten and unfair impediment to her child’s future, but it really didn't mean that Alice would not live a full and productive life, and who knows what she might achieve? Meanwhile she had far from given up fighting for a different result.

 

“Grandmama, there must be doctors in London who would have a much keener and intelligent observation of the facts as they are, I find it so hard to believe that nothing can be done, and indeed if this man had any idea of what he was talking about in the first place.’

 

They then set about shooting the messenger together for the next 20 minutes or so until they felt much better. This verbose, vitriolic attack on her mother-in-law really helped to regain their composure and improved the old woman’s spirits greatly.  There was really nothing like two women fronting an attack on an absent enemy without any means of defense, to put fire in the belly and bring a healthy glow to the cheeks. Once, fully restored to normaility, the frail, tremulous woman vanished and

 

 

Her Majesty set about finding every expert and top specialist in the ear nose and throat variety, until both women were convinced that they had put this problem to bed and one of these brilliant Doctors. would for certain, find a solution